Most of
our teenagers are
inclined to choose
movie stars and
singers to be
their cup of
tea or admire
with. But different
on me, I
like to choose
an abstemious man
who is mostly
give me a
soul to success
in my future.
Well, I can
not mention his
name in this
essay but I
will describe him
as well as
I can.
Before that,
I am pleased
to tell you about how we
met.
I still can
remind when we
were face each
other and cause
of that incident,
I labelled him as a
caring man. That
incident happened when
I am busy
arranged the books
at the library.
While I was
carrying the books
to the bookcase,
I was impinged
by a guy
and made all
the books that I
held fell on
the floor. There
was many students
at the library
and no one
willingly to help
me except him.
It was a
touched scene and
made us know
each other.
Apart from
that, as a
genius student at
school, he always
ask me if
I have any
problems with my
homework or anything
else. I thought
he wanted to
show me his
clever. But when
I think wisely,
he frankly want
to help me
in my homework
not to show
off his intelligence
to me or
anyone else.
Last but
not least, being
an admirer to
a guy or
girl is not
a bad thing.
The other word,
it is a natural tendency
and give us an inspiration
to face the
hustle and bustle
of world. So,
being happy if
you are admirer.
Carry and move it on!
Hi, nice to be here again. First of all,nice effort on your essay, afiqah. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHere are some of my comments on your writing.
Look at:
->2nd paragraph, "when we were face...".
After using words 'like is,are,was, were and etc. You must remember to put ...ing' at the behind of the word which come up after it.
~I'm sure that you already know about this but of course as a human being, we tend to make mistakes, right?
->last paragraph, "The other word,..."
You may use other than that line. For instance,'In other/another words,...'
~Based on my opinion, it just sound a little bit wrong when we read it. It's better if you use words as suggested. Okay? That's all my dear, friend. n_n
okay. thank you zafikah. =)
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